Sunday, June 22, 2014

Book Coming Out Soon - Stressed Out Much?

I've wanted to write books my whole life.  Back when I was little I imagined flipping through a card catalogue and the excitement of seeing my name.  (Back when they had card catalogues.)  It wasn't about money or being famous or watching my book being turned into a film.  It was about writing a book and having it live on a library shelf, available to anyone.

Now of course - sure, money would be nice.  The book as a film would be amazing. The famous part, I'm still not interested in that.  But what I'd never thought about before was how nervous I would be.  The book comes out in less than two weeks. People approach me and say, "Aren't you excited?" and I smile.  "Of course."  But I can't explain the butterflies in my stomach.  Not exactly butterflies.  More like giant crawling lizards with sharp claws trying to crawl their way up my throat.  (Hey - that could be my second book.)

Of course I'm thrilled.  And I still can't believe it.  Maybe that's what the fear is about - this isn't really happening and on July 1st someone will ring the doorbell and when I open it a man with a video camera on his shoulder will smile at me and say, "Surprise! You've been punked."

I need to own it.  My first novel is coming out.  I'll take a deep breath (and/or a Xanax), thank all the people who helped me get to this place, relax and enjoy the experience.